In Order To Forget*
by Rei-chan
Summary: Finding herself unable to bear another heart-break by Gendo, Akagi Ritsuko left Nerv forever and runs away, hiding herself in a little mountain town so much different from Tokyo-3 PLEASE,READ THE HELP MESSAGE THAT I'VE WROTE!!
1. In order to forget - 1st chapter

"In Order to Forget" 

1st chapter. 

Ritsuko Akagi's Decision__

_...I still keep wondering, even though I know perfectly well the answer, whatever happened to me during the last few months, to make me make such a choice... that had such an impact on my everyday life. For me, it is almost impossible to think that a woman like me has come to throw down the drain all that I'd built in all of my thirty years of life, for a reason that any other scientist would have deemed completely irrelevant. Maybe it's me who's different from the others...after all, I didn't choose my job. It was my mother who chose it for me. It was her only goal for me, having an heir who would take her place in developing and updating the Magi System._   
_A famous scientist, adept in both technology and medicine, who was driven to new experiments. Maybe that was the reason she didn't abort when she was impregnated by one of her lovers, who kept disappearing after a few months... anyway, here I am now... on a train bound for Yokota, a small borough fifty kilometres from Kyoto, where I left all my memories prior to college age...It's been six years since I last visited my only relative left. I sigh, and think that this will not be a courtesy visit... I should have been more kind to her, since I could almost say that she was the figure most present during my early years... Who knows whether she'll be happy to see me again…On the other hand, this is my last resort... I wouldn't know where to go to, if not to her. I'm fleeing from a metropolis like Tokyo-3, where I had food, housing, and a job at the immense Nerv base, a job most people would kill for… but first of all, I'm fleeing from him… I'm such a coward after all.. that's what I am… but what does it matter now ?… I don't have a job anymore, neither do I have a life, but mostly… I don't have anymore the love I never had…_

_To be or not to be a coward, after all, doesn't matter anymore… I don't have to be liked by anybody, not even by myself… my pride has completely disappeared when I resigned before the Nerv Commander in Chief… Commander in Chief of my lost life, too…_

So Ritsuko Akagi ended her internal monologue, while the wheels of the train carriage she was travelling in were swiftly fleeing along the tracks in the countryside, which was fast approaching the final destination of the young doctor. Ritsuko, for an instant stopped looking, her gaze lost in the emptiness, at the window which showed the hilly and green Japanese flatland and slowly wiped her face dry with a Kleenex she'd been nervously turning in her hands for a few hours, trying to hide the marks lefts by the tears she had shed during her journey, for to many things that caused her pain, from which the only escape she'd found was fleeing from Neo Tokyo-3; that world, which had always lured her with the illusion of the chance of leading a happy life, near the most cold, cruel and slick human being in the all universe… but who somehow, for unknown reasons, had won her heart. 

That's what made the famous Nerv scientist resign from her job the day before and flee… flee away… far from that world which could only offer her bitter tears and dreams impossible to fulfill. 

_Coward… I've been just a coward… all I did was flee from a problem, not even trying to solve it… this thought keeps tormenting me, even now that I've arrived to my destination. With this journey, I've left all that I had around me… I'm sorry, Misato… who knows if you'll be able to forgive this stupid friend of yours?… a friend who, after having shared so many experiences, has left you to your own devices, to tackle the flood of problems that every day arise at Nerv, for whatever reason… I'm so selfish…_

Once again, silent tears flowed down Akagi's face, but she didn't notice it… 

Only a day had gone by, but she already missed the Nerv… she really missed it… she missed the operators, the Children, Misato, Kaji…and even Gendo…she really missed them all… 

_Who knows whether Doctor Otagi will be able to "replace" me in a proper way, or Gendo will fire her as soon as he finds the smallest error in her work… taking care of the Magi System, the Evangelions, the Pilots, and all the many problems involved with the work of a primary scientist at Nerv, is not so easy as it might look… anyway, I only hope that Eva will be OK… after all, she's a decent woman… we were in the same faculty at the college, even if we weren't close friends… she, like everybody else, knew not to mingle with someone like me, who bore the surname of a big scientist like my mother_   


Next Stop: Yokota Station. Next Stop: Yokota Station. Will the passengers who are disembarking at this stop please get ready, and wait for the train to stop completely. Please, don't leave any personal belongings on board: the Company will not be held responsible for any theft or lost property. Thank you for travelling with our Company. We hope to see you again soon. 

Doctor Akagi, hearing the voice from the speaker, begun preparing to get off. This was her stop. She picked up her travel bag, which was her only luggage for that trip. She counted on Nerv to send all she'd left behind in Tokyo-3 to her new house, and to make sure everything was in order.   
The train abruptly came to a halt, and the girl slowly got off, the soles of her shoes landing on the grass next to the railroad tracks. 

She was the only one among the passengers of that behemoth train to get off in this remote corner of Japan, where only about one hundred and fifty people or less lived 

Ritsuko found many resemblances between herself and the place where she'd just arrived… it was ignored and untouched by the whole world, it wasn't even on local maps, but nonetheless… it was there 

The girl stopped for a moment to think, after moving away from the train, which continued its journey to Kyoto. 

Right in front of her, she could see a large view of the hamlet lost among the hills of Japan… she could see almost all the houses from her vintage point… more than Japan, it reminded her of a typical Mongolian landscape… completely green and hilly… anyway, it didn't appear strange to the young scientist's eyes, so that after all that sadness, a thin smile appeared spontaneously on her lips. 

_I thought so…it's exactly as I'd left it…._

She thought. But a moment later, she lowered her eyes again, not staring anymore at the view of the valley in front of her. 

_Who knows whether I did the right thing in coming here…after all, seeing again a landscape that reminds me of so many things in my life will only make me suffer more because of the things I regret…the memories I'm striving to erase... of the love I must forget... but... I keep telling myself... I really wouldn't know where to turn to. I'm behaving exactly like a teenager who's experiencing her first love delusion... I'm really puerile. More puerile than I thought I could be..._

Ritsuko kept slowly walking along the narrow path that quickly led to downtown Yokota. 

_What a strange feeling…walking on a wet road…still wet from the morning dew….The refreshing smell of the grass of this field is really strong…I'd almost forgotten this smell…it used to be so familiar in the past, and so I didn't ever really notice it._   
_In Tokyo-3 it's so difficult to smell it…it's so true that we only appreciate beautiful things only when we lose them…who knows if this will happen at Nerv with myself…_

The girl sighed, while her neutral look was slowly becoming melancholic… 

_No…it won't happen….._

_Enough…I'm tired of lying to myself…._

She looked up again, trying to erase the sadness that was enveloping her again, and kept going down the green path. 

What an unusual show, a scientist as young as she was adept, taking a stroll on a path created by nature, erased by tar, traffic lights, cars and other sophisticated concoctions that represented the main traits of the landscape of the city where Ritsuko had lived until the day before... 

Nature was completely in contrast with Ritsuko' job…so many scientists like her have tried many times to modify it… 

But, after all, nobody, seeing her, could have guessed what she really was... After all, you can't judge a book from its cover, and that was why Ritsuko had gotten ridden of, as she seldom dared to do at work, her faithful white coat and her typical clothes with the Nerv logo on them, replacing them with spring clothes, so fresh and gay... to put it in a nutshell, clothes in which she was looking for an escape... the beginning of a new life... but, above all, a way to disappear in that landscape... and go back in time... when her heart was still virgin... And after all that's what she did: any native would have thought her a peasant, probably coming back from a week-end out of town... and Ritsuko liked that... the idea of not being recognized, not being seen as what she really was made her happy and it was maybe her only solace her only reason for having left Tokyo-3... and then there was her grandmother... she felt that after all, it was her desperate need for love that had made her what she was now... a need for firmness and someone who really cared for her... all that...   
But then, was she actually trying to find the love that had been denied by her grandmother ?... no... she wasn't... or at least that was what she wanted desperately herself to believe... 

"CAREFULLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" This desperate shout came abruptly to Doctor Akagi's ears, unexpectedly shattering the blissful quiet that ruled the area. 

The girl turned jerkily, surprised and frightened by the shout. The first thing she was able to hear was the shrieking noise of wheels on the grass; wheels of a bicycle that was speeding downhill on the path, and a bell that kept ringing to warn the girl of the impending danger, in order to avoid the terrible impact that could have happened. 

"GET OUT OF MY WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!" 

Before Doctor Akagi could realize what exactly the danger was, she was hit by something that after the impact fell on the ground, on top of her, and, not being able to keep their balance, they both stumbled on the grassy ground with a big crash. 

After a few seconds, Ritsuko raised backwards, in pain. 

"Oh, my, what a crash…." the girl muttered, stroking the back of her neck with her right hand. 

"Saitte!! Are you OK?!!?" a male voice, the same that had tried to warn her a little before, but failed, came fast and alarmed to Ritchan's ears. Hearing those words, the girl suddenly opened her eyes, and saw upon herself, in an awkward stance, a man, probably of her same age, who, with his deep gray eyes, showed all his sorrow and worry about what had just happened… 

_I begin to stare at him, to understand what happened, first of all…for an instant our eyes crossed, while a passing cloud darkened the sun and projected its shadow over our helpless bodies, making us realize, by the sudden transition from light to semi-darkness, how close we were to each other, even though he didn't seem to worry about that. Our faces are almost touching. I'm blushing, as he moves his face away from mine, and kneels near me with a worried look, helping me to sit up on the grass._

"I'm terribly sorry, believe me!! I don't know how to make up for what I've done! Are you hurt!?" 

_I take my hand to my head, beginning to realize at last what has happend, when I notice a bicycle laying on the ground, not far from me: I had been hit by this man on his bike…_

"No…I'm fine…"_ I answer with a soft voice so flat as to sound offended, by the man who had involuntarily involved me in his accident…_

_I suddenly take my hand off my head, when I notice the alarmed touch of the man's hand on my shoulder._

"Please, let me help you! Have you banged your head!? Are you hurt?!…Damn me! I will never make up my mind about having the brakes of this bike fixed soon enough! Believe me, I'm sorry! The brakes on my bike don't work properly, and I didn't expect to meet someone here! It is always deserted!…I'm sorry! I'm terribly sorry!" 

The man kept saying how sorry he was, not being able to find the right words to describe his utter sorrow to the young stranger. 

Ritsuko raised her eyes toward him. She was very surprised at seeing such sorrow in the man…Gendo had never said he was sorry for having broken her heart so many times… 

She realized then, that after such a request for forgiveness, it was her moral obligation to answer properly, as suggested by French Bon Ton. So she put on a smile while she was stroking again her nape at the point where she'd probably hit the ground, fortunately without any serious damage. 

"Let it be, really! It's nothing...it's…such things can happen…" She answered with a soft voice, slowly rising to a standing position, and brushing the dust deposited by the impact off her clothes. 

The silver-haired man didn't let the blond scientist's words assuage him, and didn't let them chase the worried look off his face 

"Are you sure you're OK!? Oh my, what have I done!" 

"Yes…I'm fine…"The doctor answered once again, trying to calm the villager down 

The man, at last calm, smiled, and raised his bicycle, fallen under his feet "Lucky, you know! I always swear I'm going to have these damned brakes repaired, and I always forget about them! I'm so sorry, believe me!" The man jumped again on his bike, leaving Ritsuko helpless in front of him, looking around with what everybody would have called an absent gaze, but which really masked an infinite flood of thoughts and reflections that the young scientist didn't want to show. 

_What a strange fellow…it has been so long that I haven't seen such carefreee gestures. At Nerv, it almost seems as if every single move has been pre-planned from the beginning…maybe it really was a good idea to come back here to Yokota. At least, it will keep me away from things that could remind me of the Nerv, and of him too…at least that's what I hope…_

_Now, the only thing that must change is my heart…which, with all that's happened, still seems to tie me to that cold military base…_

"I'm sorry, but I have to go! I'm in a terrible hurry!" The man shouted, going back to swiftly pedalling along the downhill path that went on from there… 

"Sumimaseeeennn!!!" The thick-glassed man cried from afar, turning once again toward Ritsuko, and waving his hand at her. 

Ritsuko stood still for a few seconds, looking the path of the bicycle… 

She sighed, then resumed her walk down the path, divided in two by grass, that would have led to her grandmother's house in little time. 

About ten minutes later, she finally found herself crossing the little village. Her grandmother's farm was east of the village, and so she would have to cross most of the village by foot, but that wasn't a problem… 

After all, that's what's nice about small towns…you can go from one extremity of the village to the another by foot…it was weird to think that a woman coming from a large city like Tokyo-3 was walking around in a forgotten village on the japanese mountains, like Yokota…even though the difference was easy to see: the villagers weren't as well dressed as she was, but not because they couldn't afford fashionable designer clothes like the ones Ritsuko wore at the moment, and they were just regular clothes for a city girl… a purple twin-set, almost the same color of the slightly darker mini-skirt, and red low-heeled shoes, tied in the fashion of a slave's...The morning before she left, Ritsuko tried to wear something that would have let her blend in among the villagers, but nonetheless, the clothes worn by the villagers were even plainer than the ones she'd picked… 

And her coming wasn't unnoticed by the villagers... who couldn't help staring at the young doctor who was traveling incognito, and making remarks about her slender and pretty silhouette, which they at once recognized as a stranger's. Ritsuko tried not to react to the stares... even though hiding her true feelings had become difficult for her, when it had been so easy in the past; and she was unmoved even by the offensive remarks made by a few drunks, sitting around a table in a bar on that street. They weren't above commenting on her physical appearance... But after all, the woman couldn't have cared less... 

She didn't care about her own life anymore…she'd been used…that thought was still painful; but what was even more painful was thinking she could somehow be happy again: she knew that wasn't possible anymore… 

_Right…I can't hope anymore of having a bit of happiness and of going back to the past…the past is dead…I wasn't made for men and men aren't made for me…but it's not only men I'm not good for: I'm not good for love…_

_I was born from a loveless relationship…I grew up without love, and I kept on living trying to rely only on myself.... Misato always used to say that I never talk about myself... and that's true, actually. I hate to talk about myself, both to people and to myself... because all I could tell about my life is trouble and bitterness... and I can't stand it when others show pity and are sorry for me... and I don't want to bore people by talking about my problems, either... I still vividly remember Mom, when she went hysterical and accused me of being the cause of all her problems... and all I could do was to stay silent and humor her, trying by my silence to help her regain the lost calm after all, Mom only used words against me... sticks and stones may break my bones... but then, why am I crying as if I'd been beaten?>> Only after I became a scientist I realized how much psychological violence could hurt someone, without leaving any mark on the body, but fatally wounding one's heart..._

_Nobody ever knew about these feelings... I kept mulling them around in my mind... thinking and meditating about them... nobody could ever imagine what was behind that small girl with a mole on the path of her tears, lonely and with a perennial absent stare, who every year came in first in her class and in the whole school. Other pupils envied her, and isolated her, but teachers courted and worshipped her, even if behind their smiles and kind words, they too had a trace of envy, which I could clearly see..._

_Thanks to all the scholarships, which I started to get in an almost uncanny amount, I got degrees not in one, but in two complex subjects, post-graduate studies included, by the time I was twenty-five... when most people by that age only attain the regular Ph.D... but nobody knows all this about me... to the eyes of people around me, I'm just a cold doctor, who doesn't care about other people's feelings... this world is so naive... if they only really knew all that's behind my facade..._

_At last, to take me off my blue thoughts, the arrival to my grandmother's house. I immediately recognize the ancient farm and its reddish walls, where the rusted windchime, shaped in the form of a rooster, in spite of its age, still marked the directions of the winds with fleeting movements. The smell of hay and of the barns by the entrance is strong, but pleasant... it reminds me of viewing from above a country scene, exactly as Yokota's viewed from where the almost deserted station I'd gotten off at stood..._

_You could also hear the voices of geese, hens, and other farm animals…it hadn't changed a bit in the last six years…the last time, even though I'd been an adult by then, I'd ran after the hens without even smiling in doing it…inexpressive, as usual…In those days, ignoring that it is possible to release one's feelings without hurting someone else, I did it myself, believing that I could reach my goal this way... but I now realize that I was wrong... even though I still keep doing it._

_I rang the bell several times on the door. That has been, maybe for a long time, one of the few electrical appliances here... in this farm, as in the whole village for that matter, which seems to fight against technological progress and digital evolution, unlike the rest of the world. That's why time never seems to flow, in Yokota... even if it's been involved, in part, by the tragedy of the Second Impact._

_I ring again. Nobody answers... maybe it's broken. It's the only explanation... if Granny wasn't home, she'd never have left the wrought-iron gate wide open..._

_I advance cautiously. Even if the surroundings are familiar, I can't help feeling uneasy._

"Granny?…" I shout, closing the gate behind me"May I come in?! It's me, Granny!"_ I call again, looking around..._

_Except for the animals in the barns, there was no living soul around me... but, through the open window in the kitchen on the ground floor, I could see smoke coming out and disperse in the air... Granny was probably cooking lunch... it was almost 2 PM by now..._   
_Taking heart from that vision, I run smilingly toward the wooden door, open it, and get inside the house._

_I'm in such a hurry to see my grandmother again, that I forget to take off my shoes, but that didn't matter..._

_I quickly got inside the farm._

_"Granny!" I shout happily, expecting to find, as soon as I turn the corner, the silhouette of that frail white-haired old woman, hair that she often used to pick in a low knot, dressed with homemade clothes, and that maternal smile on her face, that bore the marks of time and life. But this image faded abruptly from my mind, as soon as I turned the corner. In stead of my grandmother's image, I found nobody..._

_The pot on the fire of the nearby gas cooker was boiling noisily, while the smell of just cooked tomato was spreading in the whole kitchen... I'm surprised at not seeing the person I expected to see... almost disappointed..._

"What are you doing here!?" 

Before the doctor could look around, wondering where her grandmother could be, she was taken by surprise by a voice that wasn't very familiar, and that, at first, caused her goosebumps for the surprise and the fear, while she had to fight her sudden feelings not to leap into the air. 

She abruptly turned behind her, staring in fear and surprise at the person who had scolded her almost threateningly. She immediately recognized him. 

"But…it's you ! The man who hit me with his bike!!" _I cried out, surprised as much as i was suspicious and frightened. What was a complete stranger doing in my grandmother's house ?! And, first of all, whatever had happened to her?!_

"Ai, I'm sorry to have frightened you! I didn't mean it…"he answered placidly, with a quiet and friendly smile on his face. 

_The surprise still doesn't let me go…or is it fear, maybe!? Granny lived there alone! Granpa had died in the Second Impact sixteen years ago, and so…who was this strange guy with his placid attitude?…My train of thought is stopped by a sentence of the silver-haired man._

"Are you looking for someone here!?"_ He asks with level voice. Maybe it should be me to ask him this question…_

"Yes…I was looking for my grandmother! That's her place! Why isn't she in!?" _I reply in a single breath, almost without realizing it; the panic in finding this stranger in lieu of my grandmother left me confused and frightened. It didn't take long for my pessimistic mindset to begin creating gory pictures of the destiny of the old woman, ideas that are immediately demolished by the friendly smile of the man._

"Ah…you must be Akagi Ritsuko! Yume-san's granddaughter!" The young man shouts happily, leaving me more and more surprised and incredolous by his words_. He knew my name?…and my grandmother's, too…how could it be?…I don't think I've ever seen him before…but his face inspired in me an unusual trust…I'm the usual stupid fool….Past experiences should have taught me not to trust people, judging only by appearances…I really am an incurable fool…but…_

_I even forgot to give a precise answer, my mind still racing with the thousand thoughts that crowded it_. 

_The man, without erasing his smile from his lips even for a moment, kindly puts forward his hand, in a gesture of friendliness. Maybe from my silence, he understood that the answer was yes…anyway, silence gives consent._

"I'm really happy to meet you! May I call you Ritsuko? My name's Yukito! Tsukishiro Yukito." The man gallantly offered. 

_It's almost by reflex that I take his hand, and my delicate hand was shaken by his gentle touch._

"My... my pleasure…"_ What are you doing, Ritsuko?!!? You're not supposed to talk like this to a stranger! Don't let his smile and his beautiful eyes deceive you! You know what men are really like!_

_I repeat this to myself, feeling the warm touch of Tsukishiro's hand upon my skin…_

_Immediately, after giving myself that sermon, I turn my attention again to the subject of my grandmother's disappearance._

"But…where's my grandmother!? _I say, suddenly freeing my hand from the man's gentle grip_

"Yume-san has gone to Matsushiro to get a horse she's bought…the train journey takes a long time, and she will probably be back tomorrow morning." He answers placidly_. He didn't look upset by the confrontation with a complete stranger; so it was my attitude, paradoxically, that looked out of place…from his attitude, I would have thought that he was expecting me…_

_He smiled again…who knows why his face showed so much happiness... maybe behind that smile…he too hided some secret chagrin…like everybody else, for that matter…_

_But why am I talking about that!? I keep forgetting he's a stranger! What is he doing in Granny's house?!_

_I begin to follow his movements with my eye, when, once he's away from me, he begins to open some cupboards next to the kitchen, and he takes out of them the implements for setting the table._

_I keep staring at him on the threshold…my look is still upset and cautious, because of the unusual presence of this amiable and easygoing man, who, after easily having made friends with a cold and rigid scientist like I am, or at least like people see me when I wear a white robe over my clothes, was moving around in my grandmother's house with swift moves, as if he was very familiar with the place…_

"You will have lunch here, won't you!?" _The man asks_ " I never like to eat alone, even if I was afraid today I was going to…but now you're here, luckily! I was already thinking of getting a hen from the hen house and letting her eat next to me, to keep me company!" _He goes on, without even waiting for me to answer, setting the china plates on the rectangular nut wood table, on which there already was an american set, with small blue sponge tableclothes under each dish…_

_Observing his housewife's care in setting the cutlery and the pottery on the table. It's really hard to think that this man really was the same person who a while ago had clumsily hit me with his bike…_   
_At first, his extreme gentleness not withstanding, he'd appeared a village simpleton, goofy even when riding his own bicycle, but he now looked almost as if he was someone else, with his elegance in setting the table._

Doctor Akagi was even more surprised whenYukito invited her to have a seat and have lunch with him, with such good manners that nobody had ever bestowed on her before. 

Ritsuko felt surprised, but not embarrassed…there was nothing in the man's demeanour that could have made anyone uneasy; not even Ritsuko Akagi. That thick-glassed man spoke in such a friendly way that he had conquered her trust, even though she still didn't know who he was, nor what he was doing in her grandmother's house, made her feel so at ease, in a way she couldn't even imagine possible…and she slowly went and sat on a side of the table, by now covered by everything necessary, listening with curiosity to the words of the young man, who couldn't help showing all the happiness he felt at the girl's presence…without asking any questions… 

Yukito Tsukishiro neared Ritsuko, offering a bowl of steaming-hot rice with sauce 

"Dozo - Please!" He offered with a smile"I hope you like rice with sauce! Had I know you were coming, I would have prepared something special for you!" He went on. 

"I really like…rice with sauce…" _I answer with a still surprised voice, while the pungent smell of the sauce gave a very appetizing appearance to the food._

"I'm really happy. I'm crazy for it!" He goes on_, while moving toward the kitchen fire, to get a bowl of rice for himself…after that, he sat at the table,in front of me, and smiled again._

_"Itadakimasu!" *_

_"Itadakimasu…"I answer,wishing him to enjoy his meal. I wait until he gets the first forkful of rice, I must say that country air really makes me hungry…_

_at Nerv, I was usually too busy for regular meal times…sometimes I even forget about that, computers and Evangelions sure aren't the ideal appetizer…_

_I taste the rice. Oishii - delicious. A lot of time had passed since I last had someting so delicious for lunch…usually at Nerv when I feel the first hunger pains, I try to assuage them with the help of a sandwich or some meal ready to eat, bought at the cafeteria…a meal like this one really was new to me, even if rice with sauce is really nothing special…_

"Gochisosama…your cooking is excellent!" _I tell the man, almost without realizing it…maybe I'm letting him too close, that's true…but there's something in him that has won me over…maybe it's his kind and caring attitude…_

_"_Really!? That's so kind of you! Good cooking has always been my hobby!" _He answers between mouthfuls._

"I have a friend in Tokyo-3 who could take cooking lessons from you" I add with an unusually light attitude_, while the image of a dinner based on instant curry at Misato's makes a thin smile appear on my lips, adding a little happiness to my look, because of the memory of all the nights spent as a guest at Katsuragi's, nights that usually ended with me still hungry…_

"Do you come from Tokyo-3?! I've been there, it's a wonderful city!" The man cried out, surprised at hearing where I came from_._

_I thought so…who could be so crazy, having such excellent university degrees and a job for life at one of the largest military agency in the whole world, to make such a blunder and relocate here, in a country village, where her work wouldn't count for much, and where nothing good could come into her future…_

The man looked up from his meal for a moment, and turned toward the near window, through which he could see the countryside which surrounded the house "Well…you can't even compare it to Yokota's beauty …" he said, smiling. "Maybe I'm the only one who thinks so! After all, in this village there isn't anything at all, except for the beauty of the countryside! " He went on. 

_After having listened carefully to his words, I follow his movements, and look beyond the window_

"Well…maybe that's why Yokota is so beautiful…unlike all other cities, it hasn't evolved during the last few years, yielding to technology innovations …and maybe this is the reason why it feels so weird, to be here..." 

End of first chapter. 

  
************Author's note*********** 

~*~ Actually I've just finished to write this chapter and I'm working hard on another fanfiction of mine (The english version is not available yet) and I don't know when I'll write the second chapter. I just don't have any good idea to continue this fanfiction, and if you have any idea, please email me^_^ 

~*~ Yeah, like in Opening The Future Doors, the character of Yukito Tsukishiro comes from Card Captor Sakura. But in this fanfiction he's about the same age of Ritsuko (about 30-31 years old) and his presence in this fic doesn't have any connection to Card Captor Sakura!!   
That's all, I think!^_^; 

~*~ Sorry again for my english, but I'm an Italian girl. 

~*~Thanks to Marcello Clarizia for this translation!^_^   
And many thanks also to Derek for the correction!^_^ 

  
~*~ If you want me to send you a picture inspirated to this story, please email me^_^ 

~*~ DO NOT FORGET TO REVIEW!!!!!! 

(Or send your comments to me ^_^ reichan@inwind.it )   


  
Finding herself unable to bear another heart-break by Gendo, Akagi Ritsuko left Nerv forever and runs away, hiding herself in a little mountain town so much different from Tokyo-3 trying to start there a new life that can bring her a bit of joy. 


	2. ~help message~

~*HELP ME*~ 

I'm going to write the second chapter of this fanfic, but I have no idea about what I have to write in the next chapter.;_;  
I'm just idealess about what can happen to Ritsuko and Yukito in the next chapter. Sincerily my first Idea was to let Ritsuko, by an order of Gendo, comes back to the Nerv and Yukito followed her. But sincerily I don't know what I can let happen in order to let Ritsuko comes back to the Nerv.   
Please, I need really help if I wanna continue this fiction. I know, it isn't really professional asking to the readers to help me, but I really need help.   
If you have an idea, please email me and tell me it. My email address is reichan@inwind.it   
Thank you,   
Rei-chan 


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